We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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