i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Will exercising make me less horny?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
