oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize