I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
