Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Send help, water and tortillas.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
