The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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