I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
