wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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