dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
