And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
