He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
