Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize