ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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