He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize