White coat. Heels.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My nipple is on Facebook.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
