Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
if only i could text you this smell
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
