I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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