im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
