Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
