Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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