i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
