So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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