she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
