You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
