Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
