Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
