Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
wow bdsm is so cute
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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