I didn't shave. On purpose
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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