so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
