ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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