I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
