why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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