So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you win again, gameday.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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