I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
