am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
