i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
