Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
