walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
