If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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