I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
