In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
