i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
try to milk me bitch
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