Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
