maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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