plz talk dirty to me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize