why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
