we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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