I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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