i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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