did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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