im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
