I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Randomize
