Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
