I think I died a long time ago.
I have demons in me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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