So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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