I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
