she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Holy shit dude........stairs
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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