if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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