they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They took my balls.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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