He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
