i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
