he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
