Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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