It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry about my life...
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