i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
